Zenfull Heart | September 19, 2026
Last night I pushed myself beyond my comfort zone once again. I stood there holding my Free Hugs sign over my head and let myself be seen at a music event. It was only for a short time, but it woke up something deep inside of me. This morning I had more confidence and energy than I had felt in days. I did a little work on my website, moved my body, took care of the dogs, got ready and headed to the market feeling good about being exactly who I am.
I brought both of my hug signs, my tripod and my Bluetooth speaker. Normally I try to record parts of Hug Day so I can turn them into content, but today I realized that I could not record and play music at the same time. And I did not want to spend the morning going back and forth between being present and trying to capture everything on my phone. I wanted the music more than I wanted the footage, so that is what I chose.
That choice changed the whole experience.
When I record in short clips, I am aware of whether somebody hugged me during those few minutes or whether anything happened that would be worth sharing later. Even if I do not mean to, it can create pressure. Today there was none of that. I played music, changed songs when it felt right, watched people smile and sing along as they walked by, and simply stood there with my signs. One was propped against my tripod while I was holding the other. I know there were stretches when nobody hugged me, but I was not timing them today. When I finally checked the time, it was 12:08 pm, and I had been standing there since about 9 am.
What I noticed most was how different it felt to actually be inside the experience instead of partially watching myself have it. I remembered the people. I noticed the music. I noticed the market around me. I was not wondering whether the camera caught the moment or whether I would have enough clips to edit later. I was there to connect with people, and that was what I did.
The hugs themselves reminded me exactly why I keep showing up to do this. I received some of the best hugs I have had since bringing this movement back to America after starting it in Mexico. One woman gave me such an incredible hug that I told her she had the best hug of the day, and when she came back through the market later, she smiled and said she wanted another one. Then there was a young man, probably in his early twenties, who stopped when he saw my sign and came in for a hug. While we were standing there, I could hear him beginning to cry. He thanked me and told me that he had recently lost his mom, and in that moment nothing else mattered. I did not need to know his whole story or why that hug meant what it did to him. I only needed to be there. Those are the moments that bring me back to why I started doing this in the first place. I was standing there in my Grateful Every Day shirt, with the definition of gratitude on the back, offering something as simple as a hug, and somehow it all felt connected. The hugs, Zenfull Heart, the work I am building and the kind of person I want to be in this world all came together in something that was completely real and human.
There was also another lesson waiting for me. A vendor across from me was clearly not enjoying the music as much as I was. My music volume was not all the way up, but she asked me to turn it down, which I did. Throughout the morning I became aware of her looking over at me again and again in a way that made me question myself each time. Part of me wondered if I should move somewhere else or make myself smaller and quieter so that she would be more comfortable.
That is an old pattern for me, and I recognized it.
I kept the music at a respectful level and adjusted it when the market was quieter, but I also reminded myself that I was allowed to be there. I was not doing anything harmful or disrespectful. I was standing at a public market holding a Free Hugs sign, playing positive music and offering kindness to people who wanted to receive it.
I also did not need to decide that she was wrong. I have no idea what kind of day she was having or what she was feeling. What mattered was realizing that somebody else's discomfort did not automatically mean that I needed to disappear. That feels like growth for me.
There was a time when I spent so much energy reading everyone around me that I would have adjusted myself immediately if I thought somebody was unhappy with me. Today I could be considerate without abandoning myself. I could respect somebody else's space and still stay in my own.
Last night I held my sign above my head and allowed myself to be seen. Today I carried that confidence with me into the market and stayed present in the experience instead of trying to document every part of it. I did not shrink into old patterns.
I came home without hours of footage to edit, without my phone filled with clips and the pressure of turning every hug into content. What I came home with instead was the actual memory of being there. I am learning that not every meaningful moment needs to be captured. Some moments are meant to be lived.
